DID YOU HEAR??- FROM A PASTORS WIFE

This was written in 1894 by Ruth Smythers, the wife of Rev L.D. Smythers upon reading this I thought, are they serious?

ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE

To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits of proper upbringing, the wedding

day is, ironically, both the happiest and most terrifying day of her life. On the positive

side, there is the wedding itself, in which the bride is the central attraction in a

beautiful and inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provide

for all her needs for the rest of her life. On the negative side, there is the wedding

night, during which the bride must pay the piper, so to speak, by facing for the first

time the terrible experience of sex.


At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth.



Some young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and

pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage

of such a bride. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE,

GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a proper

marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.



On the other hand, the bride’s terror need not be extreme.



While sex it at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured, and

has been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated for by the monogamous

home and by the children produced through it.

It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prevail upon the groom to forego the

sexual initiation. While the ideal husband would be one who would approach his bride only

at her request and only for the purpose of begetting offspring, such nobility and

unselfishness cannot be expected from the average man.


Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost every day. The wise bride will permit

a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the first months of marriage. As

time goes by she should make every effort to reduce theis frequency.

Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among the wife’s best friends in this

matter. Arguments, nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very effective, if used in

the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.

Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and

discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. A good wife should expect to have

reduced sexual contacts to once a week by the end of the first year of marriage and to

once a month by the end of the fifth year of marriage.


By their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their child bearing and

have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating all sexual contacts with the husband. By

this time she can depend upon his love for the children and social pressures to hold the

husband in the home.

Just as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity of sex as low as possible, the

wise bride will pay equal attention to limiting the kind and degree of sexual contacts.

Most men are by nature rather perverted, and if given half a chance, would engage in quite

a variety of the most revolting practices. These practices include among others performing

the normal act in abnormal positions; mouthing the female body; and offering their own

vile bodies to be mouthed in turn. Nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex,

viewing photographs and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are the obnoxious habits the

male is likely to acquire if permitted.

A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed

body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her. Sex, when it cannot be

prevented, should be practiced only in total darkness. Many women have found it useful to

have thick cotton nightgowns for themselves and pajamas for their husbands. These should

be donned in separate rooms. They need not be removed during the sex act. Thus, a minimum

of flesh is exposed.

Once the bride has donned her gown and turned off all the lights, she should lie

quietly upon the bed and await her groom. When he comes groping into the room she should

make no sound to guide him in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement.

She should let him grope in the dark. There is always the hope that he will stumbel and

incur some slight injury which she can use as an excuse to deny him sexual access.

When he finds her, the wife should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion on her part

could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband. If he attempts to

kiss her on the lips she should turn her head slightly so that the kiss falls harmlessly

on her cheek instead. If he attempts to kiss her hand, she should make a fist. If he lifts

her gown and attempts to kiss her anyplace else she should quickly pull the gown back in

place, spring from the bed, and announce that nature calls her to the toilet. This will

generally dampen his desire to kiss in the forbidden territory.



If the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the wise wife will suddenly

remember some trivial non-sexual question to ask him. Once he answers she should keep the

conversation going, no matter how frivolous it may seem at the time.


Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists on having sexual contact, he must

get on with it without amorous embellishment. The wise wife will allow him to pull the

gown up no farther than the waist, and only permit him to open the front of his pajamas to

thus make connection.


She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while his huffing and

puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances

grunt or groan while the act is in progress. As soon as the husband has completed the act,

the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform

on the morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the

peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that

there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged to

soon try for more.


One heartening factor for which the wife can be grateful is the fact that the husband’s

home, school, church, and social environment have been working together all through his

life to instill in him a deep sense of guilt in regards to his sexual feelings, so that he

comes to the marriage couch apologetically and filled with shame, already half cowed and

subdued. The wise wife seizes upon this advantage and relentlessly pursues her goal first

to limit, later to annihilate completely her husband’s desire for sexual expression.