This was written in 1894 by Ruth Smythers, the wife of Rev L.D. Smythers upon reading this I thought, are they serious?
ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE
To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits of proper upbringing, the wedding
day is, ironically, both the happiest and most terrifying day of her life. On the positive
side, there is the wedding itself, in which the bride is the central attraction in a
beautiful and inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provide
for all her needs for the rest of her life. On the negative side, there is the wedding
night, during which the bride must pay the piper, so to speak, by facing for the first
time the terrible experience of sex.
At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth.
Some young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and
pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage
of such a bride. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE,
GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a proper
marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.
On the other hand, the bride’s terror need not be extreme.
While sex it at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured, and
has been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated for by the monogamous
home and by the children produced through it.
It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prevail upon the groom to forego the
sexual initiation. While the ideal husband would be one who would approach his bride only
at her request and only for the purpose of begetting offspring, such nobility and
unselfishness cannot be expected from the average man.
Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost every day. The wise bride will permit
a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the first months of marriage. As
time goes by she should make every effort to reduce theis frequency.
Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among the wife’s best friends in this
matter. Arguments, nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very effective, if used in
the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.
Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and
discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. A good wife should expect to have
reduced sexual contacts to once a week by the end of the first year of marriage and to
once a month by the end of the fifth year of marriage.
By their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their child bearing and
have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating all sexual contacts with the husband. By
this time she can depend upon his love for the children and social pressures to hold the
husband in the home.
Just as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity of sex as low as possible, the
wise bride will pay equal attention to limiting the kind and degree of sexual contacts.
Most men are by nature rather perverted, and if given half a chance, would engage in quite
a variety of the most revolting practices. These practices include among others performing
the normal act in abnormal positions; mouthing the female body; and offering their own
vile bodies to be mouthed in turn. Nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex,
viewing photographs and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are the obnoxious habits the
male is likely to acquire if permitted.
A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed
body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her. Sex, when it cannot be
prevented, should be practiced only in total darkness. Many women have found it useful to
have thick cotton nightgowns for themselves and pajamas for their husbands. These should
be donned in separate rooms. They need not be removed during the sex act. Thus, a minimum
of flesh is exposed.
Once the bride has donned her gown and turned off all the lights, she should lie
quietly upon the bed and await her groom. When he comes groping into the room she should
make no sound to guide him in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement.
She should let him grope in the dark. There is always the hope that he will stumbel and
incur some slight injury which she can use as an excuse to deny him sexual access.
When he finds her, the wife should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion on her part
could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband. If he attempts to
kiss her on the lips she should turn her head slightly so that the kiss falls harmlessly
on her cheek instead. If he attempts to kiss her hand, she should make a fist. If he lifts
her gown and attempts to kiss her anyplace else she should quickly pull the gown back in
place, spring from the bed, and announce that nature calls her to the toilet. This will
generally dampen his desire to kiss in the forbidden territory.
If the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the wise wife will suddenly
remember some trivial non-sexual question to ask him. Once he answers she should keep the
conversation going, no matter how frivolous it may seem at the time.
Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists on having sexual contact, he must
get on with it without amorous embellishment. The wise wife will allow him to pull the
gown up no farther than the waist, and only permit him to open the front of his pajamas to
thus make connection.
She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while his huffing and
puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances
grunt or groan while the act is in progress. As soon as the husband has completed the act,
the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform
on the morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the
peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that
there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged to
soon try for more.
One heartening factor for which the wife can be grateful is the fact that the husband’s
home, school, church, and social environment have been working together all through his
life to instill in him a deep sense of guilt in regards to his sexual feelings, so that he
comes to the marriage couch apologetically and filled with shame, already half cowed and
subdued. The wise wife seizes upon this advantage and relentlessly pursues her goal first
to limit, later to annihilate completely her husband’s desire for sexual expression.
